Diagram of the ODFS

They found that people with multiple sclerosis using the stimulator increased walking performance, compared to the exercise group and also experienced fewer falls.

authors: Esnouf J, Taylor P, Mann G, Barrett C.

source: Mult Scler. 2010 Jul 2

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Now it seems to me that there is nothing more noble in the human condition than the ability to laugh at ourselves. Sounds like Melanie did this too. She is a normal person who happens to have a disability. This does not mean everybody should tip toe around her in case they say the wrong thing. If she was hurt it would be a different matter but since she wasn’t then yes, it was funny, could have happened to anybody  The apology she received was probably politically driven so doesn’t carry much weight anyway.

If I fall  over I’d rather laugh than cry.

If I misread something because of my eyesight problems  I’d rather laugh than cry.

If my coffee shimmers when I pick it up and my son is amused I’d rather laugh than cry.

There is time enough to cry, when the fatigue kicks in, when the pain kicks in, when the vertigo kicks in, when my bladder gives up and when my eyesight brings down the curtain.

Let’s laugh while we can and let’s share that laughter with the people around us.

I’d like to hear your views on his matter so please leave a comment below

.

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It’s not so long ago that a diagnosis of MS led your doctor to tell you to quit work and go home and rest. Many people did this, but they got bored.

MS affects people in different ways. Some have a relatively mild form of MS and may never experience any symptoms which prevent them from working. Others may have to cope with varying degrees of disability from time to time, whilst some people may become severely disabled quickly. It is only a small proportion of people with MS who are so severely affected.

However, there are many reasons why people leave the workforce ranging from problems with fatigue and cognitive dysfunction to embarrassing problems such as bowel and bladder difficulties. But many people are not aware of the treatments available and the accommodations that can be made to allow them to stay “on the job”.

While well meaning friends, family and healthcare workers could be encouraging you to reduce stress and give up work, there is only a tentative link between MS and stress and the stresses of unemployment with its financial burdens are not a good solution.

So let’s start with working outside the home.

There are many benefits for an employer who supports the employee with any kind of disability

• Maximising on their investments in an employee with MS, for example by not losing prematurely the skills and experience of a well trained member of the workforce
• Avoiding potential difficulties by adopting a proactive approach to intermittent medical condition policy issues now, instead of waiting for a situation to arise
• Confirming that existing/new policies and procedures comply with current or upcoming legislation
• Capitalising on the expertise and support provided by the MS Societies
• Promoting a positive perception/image of the organisation to both employees and external audiences.

For the employee there are reasons to keep going.

• Financial security: The longer you remain in the workforce the higher you benefits are likely be if you need to leave and the longer you can pay into savings.
• Fringe benefits such as health insurance may be one of  your most valuable assets.
• Your identity is often defined , at least in part, by the kind of work you do.
• A sense of self worth comes from  feeling productive and contributing to your family, your community and even society as a whole. Thus voluntary work can have just the same benefit.
• Being a role model for others feels good. A model for your kids, others with disabilities and even anyone else who’s paying attention.

If you want to stay in the home there are options you can look into.

There may be many reasons why people struggle to secure employment outside of the home, and disability and ongoing illness may be one cause. Problems overcoming physical limitations, in the workplace, or employer reluctance to hire you and give you the chance to try may arise despite laws that forbid discriminating against disabled applicants. Ongoing or frequent illness may mean that you miss a lot of work, or are unable to keep up with the required working pace. Working in the comfort of your own home ensures that all areas are accessible and safe, and any specialist devices that you may need such as computer screen readers for the blind are available to you.

Some home working may involve being employed as an at home agent of a larger company, whilst others may involve you being self employed; your own boss, answerable to no one but yourself. You may have to try several different things before you find something that is suitably flexible to work for you, or that meets your other needs and your likes.

The internet is a great, big equalizer and it can work to your advantage. The internet does not care if you are disabled – it only requires that you can deliver the work you promise.

Self employment can start very easily and if you are using social networks like Twitter and Facebook you will have a readymade audience to work with. Be careful not to sign up with some of the called “gurus” who claim you can make huge amounts of money in very little time. There is no such thing as a free lunch but by working consistently you can achieve your goals.

Look into things like MY AUTO CASH GENERATOR by Joey Smith and Devon Brown or investigate scriptlance.com or elance.com article writers, web designers, software programmers, audio transcriptionist, proofreaders, video creators, et cetera are all used by these companies. Or check out a directory site like wahcheck.com . Start advertising yourself with a free advertiusing service. There is no end of wasy to keep the costs down.

There is no requirement to stick to only one option you can do as many as you like but don’t dilute your focus by trying to do too many.

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For some people with MS, medicines can provide complete relief from pain,but many pain sufferers do not achieve adequate pain relief by pharmacological means. Fortunately, a number of non-pharmacological approaches can be used that have been proven to be effective in other groups of people with chronic pain.

The biopsychosocial model of pain

The experience of pain is very complex, involving not only the body but also the mind. Current thinking is that chronic pain is best understood from a biopsychosocial perspective, which recognises the importance of the underlying biological basis of pain (for example, nerve damage due to MS), but  also acknowledges that psychosocial factors may have a significant impact on the experience of pain and its effects on life.

Some of these factors include one’s emotional reactions to pain and how one thinks about or deals with pain. The biopsychosocial model has led to treatments that are effective for decreasing pain severity and the negative impact of pain.

People with pain sometimes worry that others think that their pain is “not real”, exaggerated, or a sign of mental illness. On the contrary, chronic pain is a serious condition that is “in one’s head” only because pain signals are processed in the brain. Advances in brain science have confirmed that psychological factors such as one’s emotions or stress can affect physical health, including pain. Living with MS and pain can also cause chronic stress. The brain (mind) and body influence one another in ways that science is just beginning to understand.

Relaxation training

Pain and other stressors often result in a natural response of repeated and prolonged tensing of muscles, which tends to worsen pain. Research has shown that one of the best ways to counteract the tensing effects of pain and stress is to practice various forms of relaxation. There are many methods to achieve relaxation – deep breathing, baths, music, meditation or prayer for example.

Some relaxation strategies can be tried without instruction, whereas others may need to be learned under the guidance of a professional.

People vary in their ability to relax, so trying a variety of relaxation techniques may be necessary to find what works best. Relaxation exercises may also work best when paired with other coping strategies.

Deep breathing is the basis for many relaxation techniques, so it is often a good skill to learn first.

It is generally done lying down or sitting in a comfortable chair. The basic method involves taking a deep breath through the nose, trying to cause a rise in the abdomen, followed by a brief pause, and then exhaling through the mouth. To heighten the sense of relaxation, some people say calming words to themselves, such as “relax” or “peace” on each exhalation. To achieve maximum benefit, deep breathing should be practiced for at least five minutes, several times per day.

One technique that has been used for some time iscalled Binaural Beats.

Two tones at slightly different frequencies are presented separately, one to each of a subject’s ears, using stereo headphones. A beating tone will be perceived, as if the two tones mixed naturally, out of the brain.

These two frequencies, when mixed together, result in a different frequency which aligns your brain waves into a different way of thinking. This is often called brainwave entrainment.

I have used this myself to get a better night’s sleep with amazing results

12 Amazing Binaural Beats Audios

Self-hypnosis training

Research published over the past decade supports the benefits of self-hypnosis training for helping individuals better manage both acute and chronic pain. Like relaxation training, self-hypnosis is a way to use the power of the mind to manage pain by altering the experience of pain.

This may include distracting from pain, focusing on more pleasant sensations, or even experiencing pain as decreasing or going away. Contrary to how hypnosis is portrayed in the media, people using self-hypnosis always remain in control of themselves. Training in self-hypnosis should be done with a professional experienced in its use for pain. It can often be learned in only a few sessions and should be practiced regularly to maintain benefits.

Like medications, self-hypnosis training rarely, if ever, eliminates pain completely; nor does it benefit everyone who tries it. However, there appears to be a subgroup of individuals, including those with MS, who report substantial decreases in pain severity following self-hypnosis treatment and who are able to maintain this improvement over time. In addition, unlike some medications, the “side-effects” of self-hypnosis training are positive. For example, in a study that included people with MS, 40 different benefits of self-hypnosis were identified in addition to pain relief and no negative effects were reported.

Self Hypnosis Questions, Answers, and MP3s

Cognitive behavioural therapy

Numerous studies indicate that the way people think can have a big impact on how much pain they experience, how they deal with pain, and how much pain interferes with their lives and functioning. Things people do to cope with their pain can also be helpful (for example, using relaxation techniques) or unhelpful (for example, using alcohol excessively to relieve pain).

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) involves teaching people how to change their pain-related thoughts and behaviours in order to reduce pain and its associated suffering. In CBT, individuals are taught to examine the thoughts they have about pain, determine whether these thoughts are helpful or unhelpful, and replace any unhelpful thoughts with helpful, reassuring ones.

CBT often also includes teaching other pain management techniques such as relaxation training, distraction techniques, or activity scheduling. It typically involves either group or individual treatment by a professional with expertise in CBT, and optimally, pain.

Other psychological interventions

Other psychological treatments may be useful in addressing pain and its impact, including support groups, pain education, and psychotherapy. Treating depression, when present, is recommended, given that depression and pain often impact one another. Physical exercise (for example, walking, swimming, or yoga) often has beneficial effects not only on a person’s physical condition but also on pain and stress.

How to find help

Unfortunately, many people with MS pain are offered these treatments only after all medical treatments have been tried and failed. Psychological interventions should be considered early, soon after the development of pain, along with other appropriate and effective treatments such as medications or rehabilitation. The sooner these treatments are used, the more likely they are tobe of benefit. For those who do not have access to specialists in the psychological treatment of pain, text and web-based resources may be available from your national MS society, or via your nurse or doctor

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Interestingly the most common areas for this type of pain are the face, neck

and torso so let’s start at the top with TGN

Trigeminal Neuralgia

TGN is an excruciating, sharp, shock-like pain in one side of the face, lasting seconds to minutes and often repeated; may be triggered by speaking or a touch. It usually settles spontaneously by itself over several weeks. Unfortunately many of the side effects of the usual drugs mimic the symptoms experienced in MS anyway so it is difficult to tell the cause and it may lead to alarm that the disease is getting worse. To allay these fears I have outlined the usual side effects of each drug,

Usual medications

Carbamazepine (anticonvulsant): Side effects Drowsiness, Dizziness, Coordination difficulties

Phenytoin (anticonvulsant): Side effects Dizziness, Nausea, Insomnia, Uncontrollable eye movements, Coordination difficulties, Slurred speech, Confusion

Baclofen (muscle relaxant): Side effects Weakness, Drowsiness, Dizziness

Gabapentin (anticonvulsant) may also help: Side effects Dizziness, Coordination difficulties, Fatigue

Lhermite’s Sign/Symptom

This is a  brief, stabbing, shock-like sensation that runs from the back of the head down the spine, (like an electric shock) brought on by bending the neck forward. It is not always painful.

Usual medications

Carbamazepine or Phenytoin (see above)

Other treatments

A soft collar may limit neck movement. Most often Lhermite’s symptom disappears spontaneously and medical treatment is not necessary.

Tonic Spasms

These, known as spasticity are sudden and painful muscle contractions, producing stiffness of the whole limb, which can last up to two minutes.

Usual medications

Carbamazepine, phenytoin, and baclofen (see above) and

Clonazepam (anticonvulsant): side effects Sedation, Dizziness

Dysaesthetic Pain in Limbs and Trunk

Dysaesthetic means any impairment of the senses especially the sense of touch

This is a condition in which light physical contact of the skin causes pain; Such as the weight of sheets in bed.  It involves a persistent burning, tingling, tightness, or aching which may be worse at night and after exercise It may be aggravated by temperature and weather.

Patients frequently state that dysaesthetic burning corresponds with what they imagine a hell might be like. Some of the descriptions given by patients include:

- “Like Hell’s hottest knives tearing at my flesh”
- “Like my flesh is being consumed in a fire”
- “Like my flesh is being torn from my body”
- “Like my flesh has been burned off”
- “A pain worse than pain”
- “Indescribable burning”
- “Like an alien pain monster has taken over my body and has ignited my flesh”

Usual medications

Nortriptyline and amitriptyline.(anti-depressants): side effects Dry mouth, Blurred vision, Sedation, Urinary retention

Gabapentin, (see above)

Tegretol (Carbamazepine – see above) and Epilim (sodium valproate – anti epileptic) may also be useful.

Side effects of Epilim nausea, diarrhoea, increased appetite and weight gain, shaky movements, tremor, drowsiness, confusion, temporary hair loss

Other treatments

• Application of cold, pressure stockings
• Capsaicin ointment/cream. Capsaicin is the active ingredient in chilli peppers. It’s what gives chilli peppers their kick. When it is applied to the skin, capsaicin cream has been found to deplete substance P— a neurochemical that transmits pain—which desensitizes a person to pain. Capsaicin cream produces a temporary reduction in pain, so it must be used regularly to provide prolonged pain relief.

Capsaicin can cause an intense burning feeling when it is applied, particularly if it is used less than 3-4 times a day, or if it is applied just after taking a hot bath or shower. However, this side-effect tends to ease off with regular use. Capsaicin cream should not be applied to broken or inflamed skin. Wash your hands immediately after applying capsaicin cream.

In my next article I will be discussing secondary pain in MS.

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Pain is generally not associated with MS but findings of worldwide MS research studies suggest that pain is a key factor in MS, indeed approximately two thirds of people with MS experience pain at some time during the course of the disease; pain is undertreated; and that pain is associated with depression, anxiety and fatigue although not the sole cause of these symptoms.

Although MS pain was first recognised in the 1800s, it was not until the 1980s that the incidence, prevalence and characteristics of MS pain were described.

The severity or frequency of pain varies from person to person. It cannot be predicted by a person’s age, gender, or type of MS. However, the longer someone has had MS, the more likely they are to experience pain as one of their symptoms.

The most common pain syndromes experienced with MS include:

● headache (seen more in MS than the general population)
● continuous burning pain in the extremities
● back pain
● painful tonic spasms (a cramping, pulling pain)

Why does pain occur in MS?

Pain is a sensory symptom directly related to two occurrences – the disruption of central nervous system myelin and the effects of disability.

In other words pain may be directly related to the disease itself (e.g. pain associated with nerve damage), or it may develop because of other MS problems (e.g. pain caused by painful muscle contractions and stiffened joints). Fortunately, most pain in MS can be treated.

When pain is the result of a disruption or alteration of nerve conduction, it is termed neurogenic or neuropathic. Pain caused by nerve damage can range from a mild prickling to severe burning, itching or aching and usually requires different treatment from musculoskeletal pain. In some chronic pain conditions, the constant barrage of pain signals may overwhelm the central nervous system so much that normal sensations such as the stroke of a hand can trigger pain.

Neurogenic pain

Neurogenic pain is described in varying degrees of severity and can be split into two types:
•    Continuous and steady
•    Spontaneous and intermittent,

One large North American study found that half of those reporting pain said their pain was continuous and severe.

Intermittent, spontaneous pain is characterised as shooting, stabbing, electric shock-like, or searing and is often evoked by stimuli that normally do not cause pain, for example touch, the weight of bed covers, chewing or a cold breeze

Steady neurogenic pain is typified by burning, tingling, tight or band-like sensations, aching and throbbing. This type of pain is often worse at night, worse during temperature change and worsened by exercise.

Then there is tissue damage which may result from disability. This can be secondary to musculoskeletal changes in MS due to weakness or incorrect posture for example. If a person walks in a different way than normal then joints may be stressed and become painful as well.

How can MS pain be treated?

Pain management is approached medically, behaviourally, physically and in some cases, surgically. If it is treated with drugs it is always a balance of risk versus benefit. In other words, medication side effects need to be considered and continually evaluated in terms of their impact on a person’s quality of life.

It is not the remit of this article to identify the drugs used.

Emotional Effects

It is important to recognise the emotional effects of experiencing pain and to develop healthy coping strategies.

Some examples are:

•    Learn relaxation and meditation skills.
•    Concentrate on positive thoughts and activities.
•    Talk to a counsellor.
•    Seek assistance from an MS Society Field Worker or an MS nurse.
•    Contact a support group for people with chronic pain.

In addition some suggestions for managing pain include:

•    Exercising gently and regularly, but only within your limits.
•    Modifying your environment (e.g. comfortable bedding).
•    Considering equipment that may prevent pain from being triggered (e.g. a gripping stick to avoid having to reach).
•    Treating flare-ups as they occur – delay can cause problems.
•    Seeing a physiotherapist regularly.

In future articles I will address the current options in treatment of MS pain

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In the last of the series I will be addressing tertiary causes of sexual dysfunction.

Whether a person is in an intimate relationship or not, it is a challenge to maintain a sexual identity and take care of one’s sexual self-esteem (how one feels about oneself as a sexual being) while dealing with a chronic illness such as MS.

Sexual changes in MS can best be characterised as primary, secondary, or tertiary.

Primary sexual dysfunction has been dealt with in parts 2 and 3.  Secondary was dealt with in part 4. In this article I am going to deal with tertiary sexual dysfunction but I am simply going to lay out the symptoms. A more advanced course is available which covers possible courses of action to take given the symptom.

Tertiary sexual dysfunction
The onset of MS can alter a person’s perception of himself or herself as an individual, altering sexual development and expressions of sexuality and it can have a negative impact on sexual and intimate functioning. These are known as the tertiary sexual problems of
MS, derived from the resultant psychological and social changes, as distinct from the direct neurological dysfunction (primary sexual problems) and the symptoms of MS (secondary sexual problems).

People with MS can find it difficult to see themselves as being “sexual”, having sexual thoughts, desires and needs whilst at the same time identifying with the role of a person with a chronic illness.

Individuals see themselves as complete persons in terms of their roles within families, friendship circles, sporting clubs, activities and occupations. Any feelings of loss of control over events or unplanned changes because of MS can affect one’s confidence and self-esteem and alter the dynamics of relationships, especially close and intimate ones.

Dealing with the impact of MS and symptoms can leave one neglecting the emotional and psychological aspects of life in general. Simply attending to the physical needs of life’s daily activities can leave little time or energy for emotional contemplation and intimate relationships. This is particularly evident if fatigue is experienced as a symptom of the MS.

What you can do

If you experience problems with intimacy and sexuality, you need to allow yourself time to assess your overall situation and to feel confident about communicating any difficulties to those close to you.

Counselling can help individuals to explore feelings and facilitate discussion in a respectful and professional way. You can identify negative emotions such as guilt, anger and resentment, see them in context, and work through them, in a non-judgemental environment.
Here you can discuss topics, perhaps seen as too embarrassing to discuss alone, in an open and supportive atmosphere. Strategies for improving the situation, or adopting new ways of considering and developing sexuality, can be introduced.

Drugs that affect sexual functioning

Some people with MS may experience depression and/or anxiety, and medications prescribed for these conditions can affect sexual functioning.

The drugs used to treat depression and anxiety belong to a family called ‘Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors’ (SSRIs). Commonly prescribed SSRIs include Fluoxetine, Sertraline, Fluvoxamine, Paroxetine, Citalopram and Venlafaxine.

Conclusion

Sexuality is an important aspect of human life and must not be neglected when considering the impact of MS on an individual.

Increasing awareness and acknowledgement of the effects of MS on sexuality has greatly improved the management and treatment options available for people with MS experiencing difficulties in this area.

While this is often a difficult and sensitive subject, discussing sexual difficulties with your GP or neurologist is the first step to identifying effective strategies to manage any problems, and to support your need for sexual expression.

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In  the fourth part of this series I will be addressing secondary causes of sexual dysfunction.

While life changes affect everyone, changes from MS can directly and indirectly affect sexuality.

Sexual changes in MS can best be characterised as primary, secondary, or tertiary.

Primary sexual dysfunction has been dealt with in parts 2 and 3. In this article I am going to deal with secondary sexual dysfunction but I am simply going to lay out the symptoms. A more advanced course is available which covers possible courses of action to take given the symptom.

Secondary sexual dysfunction

MS changes can affect sexual response by making sexual activity difficult physically and emotionally. Symptoms common to MS, such as fatigue or changes in muscle tone, lack of coordination or pain, can frustrate sexual expression and extinguish desire. Bowel and bladder dysfunction can inhibit and cause embarrassment. Cognitive changes challenge the most devoted couple, yet in the presence of any of these symptoms; it is possible to find creative ways to keep the physical expressions of love alive.

Fatigue

This is perhaps the most common symptom reported by people with

MS, and it can be the most disabling.

Weakness

Muscle weakness may necessitate alterations in sexual practices.

Lack of coordination and tremor

Lack of coordination may make sex and sexual expression feel clumsy, as can tremor. But besides being awkward, these symptoms may also interfere with the couple’s style of having sex.

Bowel and bladder problems

Another source of anxiety and distress can be bowel and bladder disturbances. These problems go hand in hand with sexual dysfunction, since nerve pathways are shared or close to each other. Incontinence, or even fear of having an accident, can cause a person to avoid sex entirely, thus depriving them of the closeness it brings.

Pain

This can impact significantly on interest in sex as well as performance ability. Understanding the type of pain can influence the best way to manage it. Muscle tightness, intense itching and spasticity may all be called “pain”. Also, medications used to relieve pain may add to sleepiness or fatigue.

What you can do

Medications that bring relief must be well prescribed for the type of pain they treat and used in just the right dose and frequency to give relief with the least disadvantageous side-effects. An extra or well-timed dose before intimacy can often provide effective symptom management and reassure the partner that he/she is not adding to discomfort.

It is also important that a symptom such as adductor spasms (which cause involuntary pulling together of the legs) is not seen as an indication of the person’s interest or willingness to have sex. Again, communication is the key to avoiding misunderstanding and hurt feelings.

Water soluble lubricants can make intercourse more comfortable, without predisposing to urinary tract infection.

Sensory issues

Changes in sensation can also interfere with sexual pleasure. Non-genital symptoms such as numbness and tingling can distract and discourage either partner. Impaired genital sensations can diminish pleasure, while heightened sensitivity may make even the lightest touch unbearable. What feels good at one time may be excruciatingly painful on another occasion

Mobility

Mobility devices used to compensate for loss of function can also damage your confidence and self-image. They may be seen as less than sexy. Canes, wheelchairs, braces and walkers are often identified with being “sick” or “old”. Spontaneity can be a problem if great effort has to be made to get about.

Cognition

Cognitive changes can be amongst the most potentially damaging to the relationship, since they can undermine the person’s sense of who he/she is. A partner may feel this is no longer the person they once knew. Changes in attention and concentration may be perceived as lack of interest or love, and may irreparably strain the relationship. Changes in mood, memory loss and depression can be frightening, frustrating and sometimes infuriating. All interfere with intimacy. Individual or couples counselling may be advised.

Conclusion

Sexuality is an important aspect of human life and must not be neglected when considering the impact of MS on an individual.

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The title of my article today is really a good question. Have you figured out yours? I have done a lot of soul searching in the past 5 years. Some people might say the quality of my life is not so good anymore. I beg to differ. I have friends, family and my little boy which make me happy! Sure I’m not out partying and going to baseball games like I used to but there is always a silver lining. Not doing those things saves money and what’s left of the rest of my health. Those two little letters (MS) always catch my eye even when they’re not related to Multiple Sclerosis. I’ve had some fun times in the past 16 years but not a lot that I can recall right off the top of my head. I realize that there’s always someone worse off than you. I have a friend in town that became blind from diabetes in the past 3 years. He’s 63 and not married. He can’t go anywhere unless someone picks him up and takes him where he has to go. His 83 year old mother drives 40 miles one way every week to make my friend Jim some sandwiches. She also takes him to his favorite bar so he cans BS with friends. Because of his diabetes Jim can’t walk very well, either. In my opinion Jim is worse off than me because of his blindness/diabetes. I can still get in my van and drive somewhere when I have to. I’ve always said that I’ll lose any body part but I never want to lose my eyesight. An exacerbation is a worsening of my symptoms. I’ve had a couple of exacerbations where one of my eyes was so blurry that I couldn’t see anything. Luckily, when it’s happened it’s only been in one eye so I still could see with the other one but it can be very scary. I also have a tendency to get headaches when my eyes are blurry. The crazy thing about MS is that you don’t know what is going to happen. This uncertainty led me to a decade of anxiety and panic attacks which I’ll talk about in another article and which I still suffer from. Now for the first time in 16 years I can truly say that I accept my disease. I feel like all the bad stuff has already happened to me and if I can stay at this level I’ll be just fine. Life is still GOOD! It sure beats being dead but I’ve never been dead so I don’t know. lol I feel there are no surprises left for me. My eyes have been blurry to the extent of blindness. I can hardly walk so I find myself relying on my scooter and walker more and more each day. When I have a fever I can’t walk at all so I try to stay away from sick people. I’m impotent and I have to catheter myself whenever I have to urinate. I’ve had numb or tingling feelings all over my body at different times. My terrible fatigue has returned like it was in the 90’s. My bowels don’t work correctly. I’m either constipated or I’m running to the toilet because my sphincter muscle in my butt is also affected by nerves. .

The good news is that I still have a good attitude. I think I’m more humble and I think I’m nicer to people. Not that I was ever mean to people but I’m more polite, kind, sympathetic, etc. I’ve always had a burning desire to become wealthy but since I became sicker I now think that differently, too. I just want to earn a nice living. It sounds funny but I feel if a person had to get MS I got the good kind. I’m learning to live life as a disabled man. I’ve always had a great sense of humor but I always thought it was my beer drinking that made me funny. Now I hardly drink and I realize that I’m still pretty funny!

I think MS can be a very lonely disease. When you have blurry eyes or tingling feelings you’re the only one who knows about it unless you tell someone. When you’re first diagnosed there are counseling clinics where you can talk to counselors and other people newly diagnosed with the disease. Now after 16 years I really don’t want to talk with anyone about my disease except my neurologist. I just want to earn a nice living and live the rest of my life as simply as I can. I’ll die in the little town that I now call home. One reason I wrote this article is because many people don’t know anything about MS. I don’t know how many times I’ve told somebody that I have MS and they’ve said, ” is that the disease Jerry Lewis is trying to cure”? So many people don’t know a thing about it and I’m going to try to explain some of the disease as it pertains to me.

I want to emphasize that MS is not a death sentence. I now know that I’m going to be disabled for a long time. When you think about that it’s kind of depressing but a person must go on as best as they can! Unless a person has complications with their MS or has a heart attack or something like that multiple sclerosis won’t kill you! It will make your life challenging and difficult at times but it won’t kill you. I consider my MS just a speed bump to what I want to accomplish in my life. It’s taken me 16 years but now I accept my disease and all that goes with it. I live in a great little town where I can ride my scooter everywhere and I can also make a nice living with the internet.

We all have to have dreams. Let me explain something to you so I don’t sound too greedy. I don’t take vacations, I don’t buy fancy sports cars (vans only for me – I have to haul my scooter), I don’t wear fancy jewelry or clothes and I wouldn’t buy a big mansion if I could. What I would do if I had money is live in comfort knowing that I had a lot of money in the bank. I want to feel secure. MS can make a person feel insecure at times because you don’t know what’s going to happen to you. I don’t know what’s going to happen with the Social Security system in the United States. I needed to figure out how to make a good living because I can’t go out and get a job because of my MS! I feel I’ve done that now with my internet work and my insurance men. I just want to feel monetarily secure! Looking back on my 16 years with MS the disease has been a great teacher and I’ve learned a lot about myself, the disease and my inner strength.

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